A British Gigolo In Phuket

Arriving at Paresa Resort

Cool, serene, stylish, exclusive—basically, everything I’m not! The lobby is hands down the most gorgeous space I’ve ever seen. Smiling, impeccably dressed staff glided towards me as if on castors, armed with a cool scented towel and a delicious drink.

Then, as if I’d slipped into a parallel universe, I descended a staircase leading to an enormous gong. Yes, a gong! I was invited to give it a good whack to seek permission to enter the resort’s sacred grounds. As the sound echoed off the marble walls, two ‘angels’ (that’s what they call the staff—and rightfully so) opened the doors to reveal a massive gold leaf mosaic on the ground and a jaw-dropping ocean view. I half-expected to hear angelic choirs. Talk about a grand entrance – pure theatre, and I was all in!

I was then whisked away to my pool villa. The resort is pretty hilly (as it’s located on the hilltop overlooking Kamala), but don’t worry—buggies are on standby 24/7 to zip you around this chic and compact resort. They’ve also got transportation covered for trips to the town and beach, just 10 minutes away. When I first laid eyes on my pool villa, I wondered if I’d ever want to leave. Bright, sunny, stylishly opulent, with a view so stunning it nearly brought me to tears. Each villa boasts its own deck and pool with this glorious vista.

After a toe-dip in the pool, I decided to explore…

A buggy was hailed, and we glided to the restaurant, the spa, and the main resort pool—all jaw-droppingly beautiful. Even though the resort was fully booked, I didn’t see a single soul. This place is for those seeking peace and the kind of privacy that’s rare in our busy world. It’s the perfect retreat to share with someone special, no wonder they were all enjoying their private pool villas. And why not? Even though I was flying solo, I could definitely get used to this kind of ‘therapy’.

That evening, I chose to dine in the restaurant instead of indulging in ‘in-villa dining.’ From my front-row seat, I watched the sun take a dramatic dive into the Andaman Sea. I was joined by a delightful mix of young and not-so-young lovers, all equally slack-jawed by the stunning view. Dinner was a culinary masterpiece—beautifully prepared, incredibly tasty and surprisingly hearty. And the wine list? Absolutely top-notch. I expected a work of art on a plate, and that’s exactly what I got.

As I savoured each bite, I couldn’t help but wonder what the other guests thought of me dining alone in such a desirable location. So, I decided to embrace the mystery. I could be a spy – an international arms dealer – a former MP with a scandalous secret. My favourite though – a retired gigolo with a colourful past!